Went to the doctor AGAIN today. I was hoping to hear some great news like, "Go home and get a babysitter so we can have these babies on Monday." No such luck. I know all women get sick of being pregnant, but this really truly has been the longest pregnancy in history I think. A lot has happened during these last 35 weeks and it has made it drag on. Not to mention I am carrying around ten pounds of pure baby in there.
Selfish of me to want them out? Probably. I do love them and want more than anything for them to be healthy but I miss playing with my children. I miss being able to breath. I miss feeling "normal". I feel like this will last for eternity. I know Heavenly Father is saying, "Good grief Allison, it's not that much more time." But I feel it will go on forever. Plus news of friends having their single babies born three weeks early and being completely fine...AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Why can't that be us?
I remember Brother Marler asking me, "In the grand scheme of things will this waiting time matter?" (When Erik and I were trying to get paper work cleared to marry). And I guess it won't. When they arrive I will just be grateful and forget about all the pain and suffering that they caused these last few months.
Maybe I can make it another week or two. I guess I don't have a choice, no one ever asks for my input...me and Heavenly Father need to have a nice long sit down chat together :0). I am sure they will be worth the wait. I just can't wait to see their little faces.
4 comments:
Having just recently gone through that, I totally understand the feelings that make you not want to be pregnant any more, the feeling guilty because you really do want a healthy baby(ies) that you can just bring home, but ultimately just wanting to feel normal. The hardest part is the not moving around very well, having ahard time breathing,and feeling overall crappy. That is when you just need to have someone tell you it's OK to put your feet up, let the dustbunnies build their army and when someone asks you what you'd like, tell them meals, diapers and playdates. Don't be afraid, be honest and you will start to feel normal alot sooner if you don't! Hang in there, you're almost to the finish line, and remember, you're carrying two precious babies and you'll miss the little things like feeling them kick, hiccup, and all those little things that make a pregnancy so miraculous in general. Good luck, keep us posted!
I feel your pain Allison. You will get to breath again. You've made it to 35 weeks, that's fantastic! I'll keep you in my prayers.
Well - Humm - I remember what you are describing but after 23 years it dimmes and things go into perceptive. Hang in there its getting close. Love Mom
I was thinking of you this morning and hoping you were having a good day. Not to get you down, but here's another perspective. I always wished I could carry a pregnancy to fullterm when I was on bedrest for a total of 21 months of my pregnant life(Frank was 2 1/2 when Becky was born) You can actually get tired of having your feet up and wondering what your toddler is up to. Frank and Becky are my personal victories.
I think surviving pregnancy proves who is really the strongest gender.
To help us out God added the last month of pregnancy to make women willing to go through anything, just to get that baby or babies out. I think you are definitely there.
Verlene
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